When bed wetting persists into the middle school age group, it is already a psychological as well as physical problem for the child. School camps are coming up and these usually involve 1 or 2 nights away from home. These are special times in the Primary School calendar when School leaders are chosen and fun with friends is a priority. Seeking outside help is a good way forward to solve the problem.
If the child is still bedwetting at age 10, then they are themselves in a quandary. All the others kids are hyped about camp, while the bed wetter is thinking of excuses, (any excuse except the real one), as to why they won’t be going. Fear of the embarrassment of a wet bed, or the wearing and disposal of a “nappy” is too great, so they and their parents make the decision that the child can’t go.
As a teacher, I have heard many excuses from parents and children. Parents are often reluctant to acknowledge the child’s problem to outsiders and are themselves at a loss as to how to help their child overcome bed wetting. Often they have only told family, and the worn out, ‘They’ll grow out of it”, or “His father wet the bed for years”, just don’t help with the problem at hand.
As well as being an issue for the parents and other siblings, bed wetting can be traumatic for the child. They can be overcome with feelings of being different and ostracized. They can feel incompetence, guilt, shame, and embarrassment. All these negative feelings can then overflow into their general lives and reflect in their work in the classroom. They can become withdrawn and introspective and their work can suffer. Even though this has been going on for years, it is at times like School camp, that it is brought to the fore in their minds and becomes a “problem” for the child.
Seeking outside help is not a sign of failure. Finding a solution that works for your child so they will not be scarred psychologically because of something they cannot control themselves, is far more important.
P. Claridge
